I Won’t Accept Your Regrets - Chapter 190
“I don’t know about you, but in my eyes you are like a Lucky Healis. Have you seen it?”
“Then I will show you the Healis flower next time. You’ll know when you see it. Lucky Healis looks just like you. Because you shine brighter than the Healis flowers.”
The promise he made with Ellie as a child. It was the past he wanted to go to only in his mind. He thought it was completely erased from Ellie’s memory. So he was going to drop even the little expectations left in his heart.
Jeremy may be dreaming himself, or he may be possessed by some old fairy.
It didn’t feel real for a moment.
When he was so foolishly unable to say anything, Ellie’s voice echoed through the hall.
“I’m sorry it’s so late, Jeremy.”
She called him comfortably as if she had returned to her childhood.
Jeremy looked at Ellie. Bright violet eyes were speaking to him.
It’s not a dream or an illusion, it’s a real… She recalled her old memories with him.
“…You really remember.”
Ellie brought a smile to her face.
“Yes, it’s embarrassingly late, but… But I remembered everything. How pretty and bright little Jeremy was.”
Ellie took a step closer to Jeremy.
“So please accept it. Lucky flower that looks like Jeremy.”
Ellie presented a bouquet of delicately prepared Healis flowers.
Healis, the symbol of good luck.
Jeremy took a deep breath from his suffocating feelings. And carefully took the bouquet.
The glowing flowers were truly beautiful.
“And… In addition to our promise, I learned one more truth about Jeremy.”
“Jed’s relationship with you, and the source of information that helped Phoenix Organization in the early days, was given by Jeremy.”
Jeremy’s eyes trembled with embarrassment.
“It wasn’t my intention to deceive you. If you know… I know you will feel pressured to thank me so much, so I kept it a secret.”
Ellie continued, replacing Jeremy with a response as if she knew how he felt.
“In fact, I understood this before our promise. And I thought: Jeremy, why did you help me so much? I guess it’s not a light heart.”
Jeremy closed his mouth with a deep look. He neither affirmed nor denied, but the silence was like an affirmation.
Ellie looked at him calmly.
“So at first I was embarrassed, but I tried to pretend I didn’t know. Just because you’re leaving, I just… Wouldn’t it be better to bury it like this? Because there is nothing I can repay you for your heart.”
Ellie continued, looking into Jeremy’s amber eyes.
“But suddenly I remembered the past. The promise we made, our childhood. I couldn’t pretend not to know when I knew you remembered me so long ago.”
“That is why I’m here to fulfill my promise. I was wondering if you’d regret the promise I couldn’t keep. I want you to live a new life without any lingering feelings.”
“I sincerely hope you’re happy, Jeremy,” Ellie added in a low voice and finished.
She told him everything she wanted to say.
Jeremy remained silent and looked at her. Ellie could see a lot of emotions going through his eyes. Then Jeremy smacked his lips tightly shut.
“…So this is a promise and goodbye gift. A gift with which you ask me to completely forget about you.”
Ellie nodded slowly.
“…Yes. Forget me now, Jeremy.”
Yes, Ellie came to keep her promise to Jeremy because she wanted to thank him, but her true intent was to end their connects, so he can live a new life without regrets.
Jeremy’s eyes turned red. A tear fell from his eyes, but Ellie lowered her gaze slightly, pretending not to see it.
Jeremy breathed heavily and quietly called for Ellie.
Ellie looked back at Jeremy. And Ellie’s eyes widened a little when she saw him.
Unlike before, Jeremy was smiling brightly.
“Thank you for ending our relationship. I would never have cut you.”
“If I had left like you said, I would have lived the rest of my life because I had lingering feelings for you. But I think now I can live a new life.”
Jeremy lowered his head to the bouquet. Filled with the scent of flowers, he looked at Ellie with a clear face.
“This is really the end. There’s nothing more between us, Ellie. Thank you. For being the reason for my life.”
“…I really appreciate it, Jeremy,” Ellie suppressed her sadness and told him with a deep smile.
“So I’m going to say goodbye to you today. Until now, Jeremy has always had my back, so I’ll have your back today.”
Jeremy nodded, biting his trembling lips. He went up to his room with a bouquet of flowers. Returning with simple luggage, Jeremy approached Ellie, who was waiting outside the mansion.
“It’s a real moment of goodbye.”
“Always be happy wherever you are, Jeremy.”
“Ellie, you too.”
Jeremy whistled. Then a black horse ran out of the mansion’s courtyard. Jeremy nuzzled the horse’s nose as it stopped in front of him, and he immediately jumped on it.
Ellie stepped back and Jeremy took the reins.
The two smiled at each other for the last time.
Before long, the horse’s cry rang out and Jeremy sped away.
Ellie remained silent until he was completely out of sight.
So Jeremy was completely gone, and Ellie completely shook off complex emotions by looking at the starry sky.
Then Ellie said with a clear look.
“Let’s go back to the palace.”
She had a place to return to.
* * *
At the same time, in the Imperial Palace.
Raymond was in his mother’s little palace, not in the Sun Palace, in front of the green tree that Ellie saved.
Today was the first time he came here only after Ellie accepted him. Because he always came with her. Sometimes with Carlisle.
In fact, when he thought about it, he visited this place alone longer than when he came here with her.
She has been in Lund kingdom for six years, and only one year since she has returned to the palace. But the short time he spent with her seems to have gotten me more used to it than those six years.
When he saw this emptiness.
Raymond felt a terrible loneliness and looked at the tree endlessly, and the night breeze, which was getting colder, came closer to it.
“Your Majesty, it’s late night. Please go back to your Palace.”
The butler looked at Raymond anxiously, but he didn’t move.
Raymond asked something else instead of answering.
“The Empress is not back yet?”
The butler lowered his gaze and answered slowly.
“…Yes, she hasn’t returned to the palace yet.”
“I see. Go away. I want to be alone now.”
“…Yes, Your Majesty.”
The butler left with the courtiers and the knights. Only Raymond was left in front of the tree. Only then did he reveal his feelings with a deep breath.
With a great sense of uneasiness, he ran his hand over his distorted face. But nothing really changed. There was still the fear that she might not return.
Reason told him that Ellie would return, but his feelings never abated.
If he could, he would want to visit the Drua Duchy and bring Ellie back immediately.
But he shouldn’t.
‘Didn’t I promise myself not to bind her with my own greed?’
So he just has to follow whatever choice she makes.
Raymond looked up at the sky.
It was a starry night.
When he saw the silver stars and the moon, the boiling emotions stabilized.
It was a light that resembled her.
“…Ellie,” Raymond whispered her name.
He wished she would answer him right now. If Ellie magically appears before him…
But it was just his wish.
Raymond breathed heavily into his heavy heart. As he slowly exhaled and slowly closed his eyes, a familiar voice came to him.
Raymond paused. It was because he thought that he might have misheard, or might have overheard something because he missed her so much.
But then soft voice came once more.
It was her… The unrealistic voice was none other than Ellie’s.
Raymond slowly turned his head toward the voice.
‘Please, I hope you haven’t heard anything.’
Then Raymond exhaled a violent breath. He forgot about the prestige of the Emperor and immediately rushed to Ellie.
Holding Ellie close, he felt her warmth and the body scent all over her body.
‘It’s not an illusion. It really is Ellie.’
She came back to him.
Ellie put her hand on Raymond’s back, who was digging like a child.
The accelerated beat of his heart, his heavy breathing, said how he waited for her.
Ellie smiled and whispered.
“I’m back, Ray!”
“…Yes. Welcome back, Ellie.”
Raymond added in a whisper.
“Thank you for coming back. I love you Ellie.”
Ellie responded with a deep smile.
“I love you too.”
Ellie returned and was at Raymond’s side… Forever and ever.
Like that, the two hugged each other tightly under the starlight.
( END )
So this is the final of the extras and the whole novel. Finally everything was resolved (although I can’t say it all ended the way I wanted).
And finally, we found out, at the very, very end, what connected Jeremy with Ellie, a question that has been hanging since the beginning chapters, what was a bit sad.
I want to say thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed this novel. See you in other titles!