My Big Pig Trotter Girlfriend - Chapter 05
Chapter 05 Nonviolent Non-cooperation
Many allergy medications have a side effect: drowsiness.
It’s clearly stated in the instructions not to drive or operate heavy machinery after taking them, but it doesn’t say anything about not listening to parental advice, which is a pity. Otherwise, Ling Yang could have avoided a lot of trouble.
Ling Yang had a rough night yesterday, tossing and turning. After taking allergy medication, he fell asleep on the couch in the living room until he passed away. He dreamed of his high school days, winter mornings lying in bed, refusing to get up. The snores of Guan Pei, his bunkmate on the upper bunk, made the bed shake. The square-faced headmaster nicknamed “Beida Fangzheng” would come in and lift the covers off one by one.
In his dream, Ling Yang thought that the square-faced headmaster would definitely be called “Hidden Fox” nowadays. After all, Beida Fangzheng had filed for bankruptcy and reorganization. As time passed, one could see everything.
Ling Yang wriggled a bit, intending to relive the blissful moments of sitting behind the school beauty, when suddenly he felt a chill on the back of his neck, followed by a chill spreading across his entire back.
Startled, he opened his eyes and indeed saw his father, Mr. Ling Da Zhuang, standing beside the coffee table with a cane, looking disdainful. His mother, Mrs. Yang Meiling, wore a satisfied expression, slowly withdrawing her icy old hand from her son’s collar. “So warm, young people are so strong!”
Ling Yang grabbed a pillow and sat up abruptly. “Mom! Will you ever stop! It’s been twenty-eight years! Can you stop tormenting your son! Am I even your biological child…”
Then he got a hit with the cane. “You brat! Didn’t I feed you and clothe you? I even bought you a house! And you’re still sleeping at this hour! From one bed to another all day! Doing nothing proper!”
Ling Da Zhuang had a slight limp due to the after-effects of a stroke, so he liked to carry a cane when he went out. At first, he felt embarrassed, but now he found it quite useful. It was handy for pressing elevator buttons or whacking his son.
Ling Yang had been battling wits with his father since childhood. As soon as Ling Da Zhuang appeared, every cell was on high alert. Ling Da Zhuang pressed the cane, and Ling Yang immediately flipped over the back of the couch to hide.
Struggling to open his eyes, which were still swollen from crying all night, Ling Yang shouted, “Mom, stop him! He’s too violent!”
Mrs. Yang sat on the couch, disdainfully lifting up the crumpled coat from yesterday with one finger. “I think he’s right! You didn’t answer calls or messages, and when we knocked on the door, there was no response. I was so scared my heart disease would relapse!”
Ling Yang continued to hide behind the couch. “Mom, you have to have a heart problem first before it can relapse! A fifty-year-old lady who runs half marathons shouldn’t pretend to be fragile.”
This comment touched a nerve with Yang Meiling. She grabbed Ling Yang’s ear with one hand. “Old lady? Who’s the old lady? You’re the old lady! Your whole family are old ladies!”
Ling Yang chuckled while dodging. “Mom, our whole family… includes you too!”
Yang Meiling exploded with anger this time, grabbed Ling Da Zhuang’s cane, and swung it at Ling Yang indiscriminately.
Her improvised staff technique was very skilled.
This time, Ling Yang didn’t dare to retort. He crouched down with his hands over his head, “Mom, Mom, stop hitting! Mom, I was wrong! Ouch, it hurts!”
Yang Meiling quickly stopped and lifted Ling Yang up. “Where does it hurt? What’s injured? Oh dear, Yang Yang, what happened to your eyes?”
Ling Yang was taken aback. “Nothing’s wrong?”
“How can nothing be wrong when they’re this swollen? Look, they’re all red inside!”
Ling Yang then reached for his phone. As he unlocked the screen, a bunch of unread messages popped up, mostly from his parents and one from Yao Zhenzhen.
Ling Yang was stunned for a moment, then he opened the camera to take a picture of his eyes.
Sure enough, they were swollen badly, with his double eyelids turned into single ones. Combined with some red blood vessels on the whites of his eyes and the wrinkles on his face from sleeping on his stomach, he looked like he had indulged too much and hadn’t sobered up yet.
Ling Da Zhuang always thought his son wouldn’t do anything proper. He frowned immediately. “Didn’t you go on a blind date yesterday? Did it turn you into this pig-headed mess? You must have been hanging out with those good-for-nothing friends again! None of them have proper jobs, just fooling around all day! Let me tell you, stay away from them! Get married and start a career, that’s what you should be doing!”
Ling Yang furrowed his brows. “Dad, lower your voice, Guan Pei is still staying with me!”
Ling Da Zhuang got angry. “I’m talking about him! A young man like him! Not going to work, staying at home writing some novels all day! Still mooching off you! What’s that about? If I were his father, I would have been dead from anger ten thousand times over!”
Mentioned, Guan Pei was still fast asleep in the guest room, wearing earplugs and a sleep mask. He rolled over, smacked his lips, completely unaware of the personal attacks outside.
He also didn’t hear Ling Yang shouting hoarsely, “Dad! It’s enough to scold me! Don’t drag my friend into this!”
Then he remembered that his father’s blood pressure would skyrocket when he got angry, and he deflated again. “Dad, Guan Pei writing novels is also a proper job. He’s a great author, selling the rights to his works earns him more than several months of our company’s revenue! I may not have much potential, but that doesn’t mean my friends don’t either.”
Ling Da Zhuang was still annoyed. “If he can afford rent, why is he mooching off you?”
Ling Yang sighed. “Dad, it’s not that he’s mooching off me, it’s that I insist on him staying. “
Suddenly, Yang Meiling’s eyes widened. “What’s going on? Yang Yang, tell your mother honestly, what’s the situation between you and this Guan Pei!”
Ling Yang was initially lazy. “What situation?”
Then he suddenly realized, “Mom! What are you thinking! Guan Pei’s just waiting for his previous lease to expire. He wants to buy a house for himself but hasn’t found a suitable one yet, so he’s staying with me temporarily. I insist on him living with me for the convenience of playing online games together!”
Ling Da Zhuang immediately seized the point again. “Playing what games! You’re adults, still playing games! The sales of your company last month dropped by ten percent compared to the same period last year!”
Ling Yang felt dejected. “Dad, it’s not like that, it’s… forget it, I’ve commissioned a design company to study new packaging…”
Ling Da Zhuang was tired of standing and scolding. At this moment, he didn’t mind the messiness of Ling Yang’s house. He sat down on the coffee table and began to recount the family history. “Yang Yang, don’t think selling pickles is an easy task. Starting a business is easy…
“Starting a business is easy, but keeping it is hard. My great-grandfather started from a roadside stall…”
Ling Yang shook his head and followed along obediently. Ling Da Zhuang gave his son a glare and was about to continue scolding when he was interrupted by Yang Meiling. “Yang Yang, after all that talking, we forgot the main point. Dad and I just want to ask, how was the girl you met yesterday…?”
As soon as Xie Yufei was mentioned, Ling Yang’s head began to ache. His nose and eyes recalled the painful memories from last night, and he began to reflexively prepare to spray liquid.
Ling Yang gritted his teeth and forced the urge back down, leaving behind a nasal tone to reply to his mother, “It was… it was alright.”
“What do you mean alright? You’re always so vague. How can I trust you to represent the company in negotiations.” Ling Da Zhuang was angry on the side.
Ling Yang muttered under his breath, “It wasn’t even supposed to be me, Zhang Shu and Zhao Shu were supposed to go.”
Ling Da Zhuang frowned. “What did you say?”
Yang Meiling quickly interjected, “Yang Yang, be specific, was she pretty? I saw the photos Uncle Zheng sent me from their school website, and she looked quite beautiful.”
Ling Yang suddenly realized that he had been too focused on pretending to be a boss yesterday and hadn’t paid much attention to what Xie Yufei looked like. He couldn’t recall whether she had big or small eyes, a tall or short nose, and even doubted if she wore glasses. No matter, she’s an engineering doctoral candidate, let’s just assume she wears glasses.
Anyway, even if she were beautiful, she couldn’t compare to Yao Zhenzhen.
Ling Yang gave his mother a foolproof answer, “She’s okay, just average.”
“Just average? She’s much smarter than you! Uncle Zheng said she’s one of the top students targeted by their school, recruited from a famous foreign university! He said she’s amazing at research!” Ling Da Zhuang was unsatisfied with every cell of his son’s body, but he was extremely satisfied with Xie Yufei. “Pay attention, treat her well! Buy her some gifts. With your brain like this, the intelligence of the next generation of our family can only rely on your wife!”
“Dad, why don’t you have any confidence in your son? Finding a partner is not the same as breeding…” Ling Yang yelped as Yang Meiling pinched his arm. He had to confess honestly, “She seems pretty smart. But even if she is, can someone who graduated from a top international university be interested in someone like me, whose intelligence you’ve said is lacking?”
Ling Da Zhuang tapped his cane on the ground. “That’s why I’m telling you to put in some effort to pursue her! If it doesn’t work out, we can donate some research funds to their school or something.”
Ling Yang chuckled, “Dad, are you trying to buy a daughter-in-law? Yeah, she’s actually two years older than me.”
“It’s okay, Yang Yang. Mom believes in you. Tidy yourself up a bit and you’ll be the typical tall, rich, and handsome guy. How could girls not like that.” Yang Meiling encouraged him.
Ling Yang still couldn’t muster any enthusiasm—how could he get energized after being sprayed in the face with anti-wolf spray?
“Mom, she’s into research, we have nothing in common.” Ling Yang continued to resist.
“What’s wrong with selling pickles! Selling pickles can also be profitable!” Ling Da Zhuang absolutely refused to allow anyone to disparage his pickle business.
Yang Meiling quickly intervened, “Yang Yang, why don’t you give it a try! Let me tell you a secret, girls like good-looking guys! Why do you think I fell for your dad back then? Bad temper and talkative!”
Ling Yang glanced back at his father, Ling Da Zhuang, who, although nearing sixty and leaning on a cane, sat there with a straight back and well-defined biceps. He was indeed a muscular old man comparable to Xu Jinjiang.
He reluctantly agreed with his mother’s words.
“Fine, let’s just go with that for now. If the girl is interested, I’ll pursue her.” Ling Yang thought to himself, she’d be interested, yeah right, only if I sprouted hooves and horns would she be interested.
Ling Da Zhuang achieved his goal and began to give orders again, “Get up and wash your face. It’s already noon and you’re still lounging around here! Your mom and I are hungry, we’re going home for lunch!”
Ling Yang didn’t feel it when he was asleep, but after a while of sparring with his parents, his eyes felt sore and swollen. He had to maintain his hospitable image with great effort. “Don’t leave, let’s eat together. I’ll order takeout!”
Ling Da Zhuang shook his head. “Your house is too dirty for me to eat in! Let’s go, you clean up in the afternoon!”
Ling Yang nodded obediently, seeing off his parents, the emperor and empress dowager of his household. He then lay back on the sofa with a thud. “Mom, dad really wears me out!”
He looked back at the tightly closed door of Guan Pei’s bedroom, knowing that this guy who turned day into night was probably still in dreamland. He shook his head enviously at the other’s good fortune and then collapsed back onto the sofa to continue catching up on sleep.
Ling Da Zhuang walked down to the garden with Yang Meiling, still grumbling, “This stubborn kid! Never listens! I swear, he’s just like that, what’s it called, nonviolent noncooperation! If you don’t apply some force, he won’t behave!”
“You can’t blame it all on Yang Yang. He’s twenty-eight already, you can’t hit him anymore…”
Before Yang Meiling could finish her sentence, Ling Da Zhuang froze in his tracks. There was a golden retriever playing fetch with its owner on the lawn, bouncing around happily.
Ling Da Zhuang looked at the golden retriever with envy. “This big golden retriever is great! Golden retrievers are the smartest!”
“Not getting one! They shed too much fur!” Yang Meiling cut off the rest of the conversation.
Ling Da Zhuang followed his wife out, but kept looking back at the golden retriever, his eyes practically growing hooks.
TN: Ling Yang NICKNAME: Yang Yang